He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
