forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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