how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
