I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
