Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
