batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
