Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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