You're completely useless in the revolution.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
