I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
