So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
