you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
