i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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