that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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