I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
