Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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