i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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