I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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