i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
