my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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