i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You ruined the universe
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
