I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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