Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
