dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
