Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
