I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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