So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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