K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize