Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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