ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
