Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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