I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dicks are not precious.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
