we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
