Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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