You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
