ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
