You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
