Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
