I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
