Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize