he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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