I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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