I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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