Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize