He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
