I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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