You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
