is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
