Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
