But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
