is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
