He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize