Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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