you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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