My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Are we still banned from the library?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize