OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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