Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
