Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
