we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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