she was so not down for the gang bang
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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