Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i've created a new STD.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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