Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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