She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
