My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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