It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Where is the hickey?
People in love make me want to vomit
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
